wow

i erased like a whole page of ramblings just now lol. and instead i shall bestow upon my blogger a different thought that i previously wanted to post.

you know i cannot remember myself. well when i was younger. i don't know how i felt back then or what i believed in. i can't remember how i acted or how i thought. it's strange...and scary. i can remember doing things but are those thoughts and beliefs then the same now?

i've always just remembered myself as me. not her. not sally across the pond. just me. so when people say i've changed or become different... i wonder, have i really? i can't notice.

but whatever. i suppose this will continue to happen in my life. though i hope my negative features will change! even if people say.....you can change the paint but not the house. lol? idk

p.s.
im so confused about drawing right now. i really am.
i can draw like always but not really...it's different.
this is scary.