what is today?

i'm in a bad mood. :< no idea why..... maybe i will take a shower.
i was going to post some art..but eh. maybe later hmmm?

i've been in the mood to draw......yet i don't want to draw you know?
it's a weird feeling lol. i guess im just really lazy.

i've also been breaking out lol as in acne. it's not cool at all ahhhh.
usually my face is clean during the summer. cuz well no school D:
i don't know.


and lately i've felt like quitting online stuff like gaia and dA

eh we shall see. i miss my friends too. ; _; !

another thing! i must loose weight! go exercise lina!

man.......do i love men.

i sometimes honestly doubt my sexuality because i do find myself 'staring' at girls sometimes. but then i think ...'oh the reason why im staring is because im so jealous lkfajsdfasdf' i wish i had legs like that...and other times i stare a bodies...for art LOL is that weird? i tend to ..stare at people and try to put two and two together. so that poses = much easier. i tend to do that with objects too.......

but yeah, i am definitely straight! i am definitely...definitely attracted to men. haha. i was basically foaming today because of this anime, hakuouki. it's ...like...the best show in the world. if you wanna see hot bishies. -nosebleed- i really do enjoy this anime. and im jealous of the girl haha. surrounded by all of those men....fomg. sooo lucky!

........even if they are fictional. they're still attractive nonetheless! ;- ; don't judge me.i would rape them in a heartbeat lol. they'd probably kill me before i could get the chance to even make a grope... (they're samurais you see..)

ahh i've been having the urge to cg lately. but im so damn lazy. orz i think that's my problem! i wonder how i can fix this..hmmm!also i've been trying to be more positive and accepting of life. hopefully...

that's all i have to say. goodnight. lina signing off. 8D

misunderstandings...

Don't you just dislike misunderstandings? They're just so aggrivating sometimes! Ahhh..
I remember I had a misunderstanding with somebody online once...
....The person mistakened that I was mm making fun or calling her names?
Because you know how people use astericks or dashes (today slashes) to type an action?
Like... *running* or -sitting- or /cheers ? I had typed -lame- apparently.. And the person took it the wrong way.
The person thought I was calling her lame and not myself. It really made me sad. ;_;

Because she then said that I was a brat or something and didn't deserve attention!
I felt horrible... Because at first I had no idea what was going on.

But this was a year or two ago. I'm surprised I still remember it. OTL

I also hate misunderstandings in dramas ...lol. But they're called DRAMAS for a reason, huh?
Just aggrivates me through out the whole story. IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! HE LOVES YOU!
RUN AFTER HIM YOU FOOL! RAHHHH! And then I end up keep watching it. Lol.



I'm sorry this blog is more like a ...personal blog. : < I need to  let out my thoughts someway!
Or else I'll starting thinking about..how I'm a bit lonely and then think of suicide...etc. Hahahaha...OTL

I need to get my act together. Get a job, or something...do something productive! Even draw.....maybe. :<

r-r-r-r-rant

so i'm really lonely lol. i need friends! i do have my wonderful online friends, but i yearn to hang out and go to the movies. and i cant very well do that online. XP well i could......but its not the same, you know?


though it's sad. i spent more time with my senior friends this year than i have spent time with my 'friends' the entire lifetime i've known them.



BLAH GO DRAW LINA.

break your hearttt

i should really post more cgs rather than sketches lol

........ Ò 3Ò;;;

but omg im already excited for pokemon black and white
it looks so cooll ;A; ! even more 3D ...! yet 2D?!!?!?!?!?!
mind blown. im just excited.


ugh need to find a hospital to volunteer at! > 3<
and then maybe a job with that too?

AND OMG tomorrow is graduation
what am i going to do with my seniors!?
they're basically the only friends i have now : (
so idk what to do

cry cry cry;;; i will miss them so much omgggg


and dolsot bibimbop is yummy.........!!! i love korean food and am glad my mama is korean

i need to learn torean too....

WHAT IS MY CAT DOING ALSDKJFALKSDF -tackles it-

ff prom

so prom was yesterday. it was ok. i had fun. and im wondering why i am so ugly hahaha. just kidding.
but the best part was project prom. staying up all night until 6 am... was amazing. i was cracked up
by 5 am. i think i saw a bag... and mistook it for a cat. hmmm. and then today i slept alllll day.
literally. i didn't actually wake up until like 6 or 7 pm. :c so now i have to do all this spanish homework.
and then study meaninglessly for a AP test i will fail tomorrow morning... ugh. i hate ap classes!
why did i even bother taking ap biology, haha. oh well. make good decisions and bad ones. bleh.

also i wish my brother would stop being such a baby.. he's just ... he needs help. let's just say that.
(does it make sense that he's so immature that he is saying fuck you angrily to his little sister? :/)

i was going to post some art like i should sense this is an art blog. sorry for the rants and life story XD
i will try to keep it minimal since well... im sure most of you don't really want to read this. i wouldn't wanna...
(then why post it lina!?)

but yea im too lazy right now to post art :p sorry! definitely next time i will. whenever that will be....

i think im losing interest in internets which might be a good thing
so maybe i will take a break until school is out. you know. to focus on stuff.... pfft yea right

mixed feelings.

so like i want to do what i want when i want...
but i feel like i owe her at least my attention when it comes to education
i feel like i owe her straight As and being in the top 5
since she wants me to be great and have a good life.
i understand why.

and i know she's not the strictest parent
i'm lucky that i can even do the things i do today

yet..i keep being selfish and think but i want to do this and that
not what you want, what i want..

so i begin to resent myself and i'm always thinking of how
i want to give her happiness by accomplishing good deeds
like being top student and studying alll the time ...being smart n stuff

but i'm not smart. im average. i don't know what way to go
i don't know how to do many things in this world called adulthood
perhaps it my fault. and it probably is. for not being more serious
and saying 'hey i really have to get it together'

i hate how i'm always lazy and i always procrastinate
i hate how i say i'm going to do things..set goals
and end up never doing them.
i hate how i'm always taking things for granted
and winging every choice

i want to change. for the better
so i can make her proud and feel worry free about me.
i mean it's the least i can do for her.
i keep saying this. yet my actions won't prove success

i wish i could turn on this 'button' i have
so i can get on with life and stop living as a 10 yr old

pictures!

i love taking pictures... ♥ 3♥

i took these pictures around my house so haha; 

the sky was pretty ;A; i just had to capture the moment.

and here's me being a boy lol

me so ugly.

-

sorry i haven't been posting art lately ;A; ahhhh im hopeless.

but i just read the latest naruto chapter.
and my response is FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

EVIL NARUTO WTFFF ;A; is it strange i find evil naruto hotter than nice naruto LOL
i mean naruto is hot but an evil side....-whistle-

and lol "YEAHH BOIIII"

dazzle!

well i can't believe it.. but i have about a month and a half ish left until school is out.
i am not looking forward to it. i have to apply for a few colleges, get recommendations, apply for scholarships..etc and i also have to worry about these AP tests in may which i am going to DREAD. ahhh. they're horrible. i should start studying haha. i also have a whole week of semester tests on top of that..along with state testing. orz it is going to be a horrible month! on the other side, i won't have much homework..hopefully. mostly reading / studying in may. school lets out may 26th? i think. and then i will be a senior! i still can't believe it. time really does fly. i do regret not doing my best for the past few years haha.... maybe next year i will try hard and do nothing but study! -shot- expect during senior year for me not to be online / drawing as much. and besides if i draw too much i end up getting in an art block anyway XD so its better if i draw a few times a month rather than 20 times a day haha. hopefully i will improve next year. i plan on taking anatomy + art I for the first time! i am excited. let's hope my schedule goes out according to plan. we're having 7 periods but only like a 40 min lunch. which is hard because upper classmen get open lunch (where we are released to go eat anywhere) and it usually takes the whole hour to eat. = 3 = i might as well just pack lunch or something. they say our cafeteria is going to be built by jan 2011 so... goodbye free lunch! -cries- i will miss you fast food. hello gross cafeteria food. .. i am definitely going to pack my lunch.

wow this entry is long... XD ;; i hope nobody reads this.. - w- i wouldn't read it myself hahaha.

no art today. i didn't draw anything recently that i'd want to show... :< i will try to just post original art next time. = w= when i am not lazy hahaha. -shot- btw apples are super yummyyyy. 8D

i feel very lucky.

today i got my report card! and my mom didn't kill me for having only one A and the rest Bs (though i wanted to kill myself when i got my report card hahaha.) i think she's getting to the point where she doesn't care anymore LOL. more americanized already! -shot- but im really thankful. now i can enjoy my last school semester...somewhat. -__- i am not looking forward to the AP exams + semester tests + more tests in may. 9 more weeks to go!! -tears of blood- i hope it goes by quickly. i will try to focus more on getting better grades and acutally studying for tests. so i might not be online on the weekdays much. probably only on weekends...maybe. :/ i also need to get myself ready for college! i need to write my stuff and get recommendations. ughh. i wonder what teachers would write for me.. T O T

im not drawing much for myself these days. XD well mostly in doodles on paper in class... but that's not really anything to post. :o they're all basically random people that eat my class notes. i promise my next update will have something artsy in it! orz;;; i have a lot of ideas but im very lazy in drawing them on paper.


also i got pokemon heartgold. XD im so happy about that too... and i've realized i'm a pretty lucky person really. o vo like i thought i had a D in one class but it was really an A! thank god..... ! well im going to go and sleep. :p peace out.


p.s - congrats to anyone who reads all of this. you get a cookie.

but

yeah this is an art blog. but i need to post this somewhereee...!

so my mom tells me to change the time and all.
and then she asks me to call my step-dad at work and say time is changed too.
so you know he can change the clocks there.

so i call.

"dad?"
"yeah"
"mom says that the time needs to be changed"
"tell her shut up" -hang up phone-

WTF? why did he get so mad. was it because i said "mom said" or what... i don't understand.


but on another note. i might not have a c next week. we will see. :') 

004

I'm kind of worried about my grades. :S
I think I'll either end up having a C or C+ on my next report card (that comes out next week.)
And my mom is asian and has such high expectations. It's really my fault for not paying attention in class...
Or doing my homework for that matter.

If I end up not going online, either A) I am grounded B) My computer was thrown out C) I had a change of heart and decided to get good grades next 9 weeks or D) I died.

If  I am grounded, I will probably be MIA for a few months. At least until summer...
And I will probably be even less online due to the fact it's my senior year then, so I will be running around trying to look for colleges. :<